I Am In High School Now! by Shirley M.R. Minster

I am in high school now! You have to treat me differently! I don’t have to follow the rules I had when I was a child! A teenager’s words are usually accompanied by stamping feet and a raised voice. Sometimes a slamming door is also heard. There are parents reading these words and being transported back to those upsetting times, experiencing the same helpless, angry, and sad feelings as when they went through those turbulent times before. The frustration and confusion they felt rises to the surface once more.

It is not pleasant to be in the home when it is in turmoil. What the teen doesn’t understand is that the parents have no desire to be there either. No one is happy and if not dealt with, everyone in the house begins to simply exist within the walls of a cold house. It is no longer a home, but a place of existence. Everyone feels lonely and ill at ease; no one has a good relationship with other family members. How lonely. How sad. How common. Wait, how common? Yes, in too many families the members are living singly rather than in unison, in solitude rather than in relationship. Someone has to take the first step to change the unfriendly atmosphere that is present back into family unity again.

When you began homeschooling your young child, you encouraged her to be involved in the choices of courses and how they would be studied. She depended upon you and followed your lead, though, and was willing to accept your direction. When she became a young adult of 16 or so, she changed. Her desire was to make the decisions of what she would study and how she would do so. Unfortunately she does not have the benefit of experience when it comes to the importance of the chronology of courses, especially as it concerns a college preparatory educational plan. She may even balk at having to do certain courses because she does not like them or they have always been difficult subjects for her and she would prefer to not ever study them again.

How you choose to demonstrate your understanding that she is growing up becomes the basis of your relationship with her as an adult. How you treat her now has ramifications for the future and both of you must make adjustments in your relationships towards one another. You remain in an overseeing role, but demonstrate that you recognize that she is growing up and you have faith in her ability to make good choices.

To help her in her quest to become a leader in her education, follow these recommendations. Suggest that she volunteer using her gifts and talents in a place that will give her opportunities to be a leader, but with oversight by a responsible adult. For instance, if you live close to your library, she may be able to volunteer. If she takes dance lessons, perhaps she can assist at her dance studio. A local public or private school may need volunteers to help the children or as a teacher's helper.

Perhaps your teen wants to take more experiential courses. See if there are classes at the local vocational high school. A course in culinary arts, woodworking, or health services may prove helpful later in life and may even become a career eye-opening opportunity.

If your student wants to take courses with other teens, you can meet with other parents to discuss starting one or more courses for the teens to do together. For instance, the group could complete biology labs together and do textbook work and tests at home, study American government together and participate in local campaigns, or study theatre arts together and go to productions as a group. A word to the wise, though. If you are going to start classes as a group, make sure that all of the parents agree with the instructor choice, how grading will be done, and what the fee will be.

Your teen is maturing socially, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. This is a time of questioning, but it does not necessarily mean that your student is unhappy homeschooling. She just wants to take a larger role in the decision-making of her courses and in life in general. Enjoy this time of watching her take over the lead and celebrate with her the demonstration of her wise choices.

About the author:

Shirley M.R. Minster is founder and director of Home Education & Family Services and Royal Academy. Working with families all over the world, Shirley and her very experienced staff provide homeschooling families with custom-designed programs for each child and the necessary support and assistance each family needs to succeed. For more information visit the website: http://www.homeeducator.com